White Chili, Japanese Baseball, & the Death of A Brown Recluse.

Here's some crap that's going on...

1. Listen to the new Franz Ferdinand, as it's a pretty decent album. As are the new Paul McCartney, the new Rolling Stones, and the new B.B. King. They're all good albums that are worth the time it takes to listen to them (which is odd these days).

2. I (sort of) won a chili cook off the other day (making white chili instead of the regualr red was my secret). Technically, I only got 2nd place, but the first place winner cheated and put 2 fucking pounds of cheese in hers. If you add THAT much cheese to chili, it ceases to actually be chili at all. It then becomes a disgusting rip off of tortilla soup that causes people to gain 10 pounds for even having the balls to be in the same damned room with it. You know, like Oprah.

3. Everyone should own TiVo, as there are sooooo many worthwhile shows currently it'd be impossible to watch them without it. Nip/Tuck, Arrested Development, Lost, Real Time, and on and on and on and on.

4. If you for any chance just thought to yourself, "Eric watches too much tv and should get a life," then allow me to cordially invite you to go anally molest yourself with the business end of a cattle prod in front of a pack of wild, hungry dogs (or prison inmates).

5. I've come to the conclusion that God must have mountain property somewhere, because he really seems to hate people that live on the beach. Hurricanes are the new Tsunami!

6. I met the following people recently: The owner of Florida, a Japanese baseball player, a fellow that owns ten hot tubs filled with manatees, AND the person that seemingly decides who or what is gay. Here's the weird part: IT WAS ALL THE SAME GUY. AND IT WASN'T EVEN A GUY. IT WAS A LITTLE KID IN A POOL. We called him "Ralphie" and if you thought of it, he's either seen it before or currently owns it. That's not bad for a kid who's parents are unemployed and very poor (They're ok, he has a hundred million thousand dollars). Let's see those fucking gimps Jobs or Gates top that shit! Pussies!

7. I doscovered where caulking and cavier REALLY come from. (The Super Manatee if you must know.)

8. I drank WAY too much fake beer and got a wicked cool fake tatoo.

9. Isis, myself, and a Paul McCartney biography battled a deadly spider and defeated it.

10. Isis battled a room fan on her lonesome and lost. Many, many times.



All of those things actually happened. So. that's what's up with me. I hope everyone is cool and if they're not that they get that way soon. Adios.


Your friend in Jihad,

- Eric.