Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell.

Ah, comments. How fun they can be. Recently, I was subjected to an anonymous assault via my commenting option here at the blog. This person was quite irate due to my short called "The Last Intervention of Christ" and as they chose to remain anonymous, I have decided to publicly address them. So, here goes…

Do you really know Gods great love? (Yes, I do. I’ve had numerous blessings in my life and I certainly don’t take credit for them) You may not have looked into very far. (What?)

In the beginning God created us to live forever in paradise with him without having to worry about. (First off, you write like a fifth grader or Bush’s speechwriting staff. I think you’re trying to say that God created us to be an Utopian ant farm? Again, what?) His intentions were to raise us as his daughters and sons, to keep us safe and be happy with him forever. (Ok.) Then one day Satan tempted Eve in the Garden to eat of the tree of knowledge that God told her not to eat from. (Ok, this we know) When Eve fail into temptation she tricked Adam into it also. In the afternoon when God was walking through the garden to be with them he called their names. They were afraid of God because they disobeyed him. (Also due to the fact that they were naked. They ate from the tree of knowledge, remember? They hadn’t known what "naked" was and that they should be ashamed until…) God sent them out of the garden because of what they did. God cared so much for them he even made them clothes out of animal skin where they wouldn't be embarassed. (Beat ya to it, Fun boy) When that happened God had a plan to get them back to him. Over the years their were prophecies about Jesus coming into the world save his people. (Are you a Sunday School teacher?)

God planted the seed of the Holy spirit in Mary's womb, who was Lord Jesus Christ, to be born. (Who? Lord Who Christ? I’m shaky on the Bible, but I don’t recall this "Jesus" cat ever being mentioned) God was pleased with Mary that's why he chose her to be a messenger for the Lord. Jesus grew up living without sin and went through everything that a person goes through and overcame it for us. (Why are you telling me this?) Jesus preached the Gospel over several years. Then Judas betrayed him, one of his 12 deciples. (Nice spelling there) In the last 12 hours of his life he was whipped, beaten, cursed at, eyes gauged out, was humiliated, and much more just to give us the opportunity to be in heaven with him again. (So you saw that Mel Gibson movie too, eh? Man, it was only 12 hours long? Are you sure? It seemed to go at least 17 to me) After all of the pain he went through for us they hung him up on a cross and tempted him saying," If your the son of God come down off the cross then we'll believe you!" (What dicks!) When he died that afternoon he went down to the center of the Earth and got the keys to the gates of hell where he will be the one to judge and tell who can come into God's kingdom. (After doing a search for "Jesus, Hell, Keys" on Bibleresource.com and nothing showed up linking them, I kind of have to think that story has been told a few times too many secondhand) When Jesus resurected from the grave he lived n Earth for a month and a half with his deciples and follwers teaching and preaching. (You need a dictionary, Pal) When he left, he sent the holy ghost, which is Jesus Christ's spirit, as the comforter for his people. (I have a nice comforter. It’s denim)

To sum up all of this up God loved us so much that he came down to Earth lived our (a) life without sin and died as the perfect sacrafice (spelling again) for all of our sins just to give (us) the opportunity to be with him. He would do all of this for even one person if they fell away from him and the rest were still in heaven. (What a stand up guy!) That is how much God loves us. (That’s a given, Champ)

Jesus' blood was represented by wine in the last supper and the bread represented his body. That is why during the last supper he told them drink this cup in rememberence (spelling) of me. He prophecied to his deciples about his death that would take place, and he also told them that he was going to rebuild the temple in three days. (You misspell almost every key word having to do with your faith. And why are you telling me this?) What he meant by the temple is that when he died on the cross as a perfect sacrafice (spelling, yet once a gain. For the love of Christ!) he would then have control over who went to heaven or hell. Before jesus (You really should capitalize that) died the devil had everybody already condemned to hell. The reason why everybody was already condemned to hell is that since the fall of Adam and Eve mankind became born with a sinful nature. Due to that, we beacme born of the devil and not of God anymore. (Yeah, I’ve met a lot of kids that seem a lot more devil than heavenly, feel me?) That is why when you get saved you become born again and past is washed away. (Irish Spring also works well for that.)

How fun! And to you, dear martyr, I chose the color red just to piss you off. I have no idea why your strategy was to recite bible stories to me when your main problem was that I turned Christ into a fictitious drunk that gets a chuckle out of himself when he takes his own name in vain. Granted, the piece isn't exactly kosher (I bet you really hate that term), but I didn't intend it to be. If you think I'm some kind of sacrilegious heathen, you'd be wrong. I love God, I truly do. I just hate the people like you in his fan club that like to push their opinions on something as personal as religious faith onto every person you come in contact with that has a different outlook than you. Given, you'd probably aimlessly recite the story of Noah and the ark when taken to the task of forming an opinion on tax reform, but I digress. Stand up for your beliefs, by all means. But know you're standing up for a belief system that persecutes homosexuals and people that touch footballs (the pig skin thing comes from Deuteronomy 14:8 in case you were wondering) yet has no qualms with fathers selling their daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7). And allow to me to also say this, if you're going to pop onto someone's blog and comment on things, at least have the balls to put your name on them. Get some backbone, Man. I mean Jesus has your back, right? Lastly, if you get all huffy and want to vent to this, feel free, just try not to go into a lame retelling of the Cain and Abel story or some shit like that, as I already know it. Your breath would be better spent blowing yourself.