Shuffled.

Ok, I threw the iPod on random and critiqued what shit out of it. Enjoy...

"School Boy Heart" by Jimmy Buffett - This is the song that was playing when I clicked into the whole Buffett ideal. Given, it's a bit hard to deny a guy that's written a song called, "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw," but "School Boy Heart," is a little bouncier and I think it's more fun.

Dane Cook's "I just wanna dance" routine - Anyone that talks to me and then sees a Dane Cook performance (or vice versa) thinks we're related. We're not.

"Stay" by Lisa Loeb - This is the first in what I expect to be a series of nods to 90's pop culture throughout my ipod shuffling. I dig shitty 90's tracks. A lot of them. This one in particular makes me think of Ben Stiller drinking a big gulp with Winona Rider and asking Ethan Hawke if there's a secret handshake with him. Reality Bites owned back in the day, and in a faded flannel kind of way, it still kinda does. Also worth mentioning is the scorching hotness of Lisa Loeb herself. She gave all the female versions of Rivers Cuomo a chance to get deep dicked long before anyone even knew who the fuck Rivers Cuomo was.

"Ensure Your Reservation" by the Polyphonic Spree - I dig the Spree, but I do get the idea that they look like a big cult that's obsessed with Skittles. I really liked Tim Delaughter's old band Tripping Daisy a lot and I was glad to see him (modestly) succeed with such an original project.

"Don't Ever Let Me Go" by the Kinks - I should tell you something about my ipod and the Kinks. Out of a current 3,192 tracks, 469 of them are either direct Kinks songs or Kink-related. That bleeds a 14.69% chance that the next song will be Kinked each and every time the shuffle does it thing. True, 14.69% doesn't sound like a lot, but when compared to the 0.0062% chance that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (A band I dig a lot) come with... Well, you get my point. Anyways, I just want to say there might be a lot of Kinkiness going on here, that's all. "Don't Ever Let Me Go" is just an old 60's Kinks track. It's fine by me, but it's no "Sunny Afternoon."

"Set Me Free" by Ray Davies - Who'd of thought, a Ray Davies song? This is from Ray's "Storyteller" tour and it's all acoustic and around a minute long. Nothing notable here.

"Running Around Town" by the Kinks - Ok, I thought this might happen. Yet another fucking Kinks song. "Running," like the last track, is also only a minute long. Not incredibly newsworthy.

"Cool Blue Reason" by Cake - This Cake song, much like every other Cake song, sounds exactly like every other Cake song. I like this song about the same amount as I like every other Cake song. It does have that weird ghetto noise in the background that makes me think Snoop Dogg's gonna bust out and start talking about how he's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind.

"Here Comes the Flood" by Peter Gabriel - I love, love, love Pete. This song's just about the saddest thing ever. I think it's about him thinking about his receding hairline and holding back tears. But.. he.. just... can't.

"I'm Dancing in the Show Tonight" by Ween - This is the song that's playing in my public persona's head all the time. If I'm telling you a story and frantically moving about, this is what's playing inside the ole' noodle.

"Danger! High Voltage" by the Electric Six - I saw this video before I heard the actual song so I was a bit entranced by the odd visuals. These cats are just fucking weeeeiiiiird. You got Jack White singing (what I imagine) is a woman's part and the most awesome rumor that the sax solo was done by Bill Clinton. That's totally not true, but just imagine Slick Willy, Jack White, and a dude that looks very transvestite all in a room together. Man, what a rocked out track.

"PA" by Ryan Adams & the Cardinals - I love me some Ryan Adams but still haven't gotten around to listening to this album yet. After listening to this track, I'm left feeling a little bit so-so about it.

"Pink Panther Theme (Remix)" by Krunal Patel - This shit makes me want to rob a fucking bank.

"I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon - This song has a lot more funk than any indie band has any right to turn out. So much in fact that a reviewer on Amazon.com said, "it invokes the ghost of Prince" which is funny to me, because I'm pretty sure Prince is still alive. And if he is now, he probably was when the track was recorded a few years ago. But maybe my math is off, so there's no way to be certain.

"Free" by Phish - What'd the guy at the Phish show say after he ran out of weed? "Man, this music sucks." Hahahaha, that kills me every time. Anyways, I like Phish. So fuck you, you patchouli stink hippy. Wait, that'd be me, wouldn't it?

"Open Up Your Eyes" by Tonic - This shitty song reminds me of that other shitty song they did called "If You Could Only See." Does this fucker hang out with blind people all day or what? I mean, seriously. Buy that bitch some glasses.

"Waiting For the Rain To Fall" by Chris Fuckin' Isaak - I added the "Fuckin" to his name because people need to respect the badassness that is Chris Isaak. If you have a wife or a girlfriend, Isaak could fuck her, no questions asked. "Wicked Game" just reeks of sex. Good, dirty, on fresh white sheets kinda sex. Also, I hear Isaak actually ejaculates horny supermodels, how badass is that?

"Alpha Beta Parking Lot" by Cake - Great song title by my boys in Cake. Good track too.

"Bound For the Floor" by Local H - Another 90's blowback. This track was actually better back then though.

"You Can't Win" by the Kinks - Mother of God, a Kinks song. I would never have thought. Seriously. This reminds me of the Turtle's "You Don't Stand an Outside Chance" for some reason. Which is cool, as I love that song.