One day, you may need to drive to Mexico and pick me up.

These are the words I know in the Spanish language: Manana, Hoto, Hermano, Huevos, Consolodore, Caliente, and Muey. Also "Sombrero."

If I ever wake up in a coffin in Mexico (ala Michael Douglas in The Game) and have to talk my way out of it, I'm totally screwed. All's I'll be able to say is, "Tomorrow I will have eggs with my gay brother who wears a very hot dildo hat."

Something tells me that customs officials won't "get" me.