Why not get a hummer and a hotdog instead?

Ok, now this is just plain sad.

People all over are starving and Sally Struthers tells me for a dollar a month I can save entire nations or at least give them a wish sandwich (A wish sandwich is when you got two pieces of bread and you wish you had some meat! Bow bow bow....) which is something I've always considered doing, but honestly will never get around to. My Dad "adopted" a foreign child through that program and he gets the oddest letters from *insert jumble of consonants* or whatever his name is from time to time. I know that one day Dad's going to call and say that *jumble of consonants* has arrived in New York and wants to move in with his new Daddy. Man, would that be hysterical because Dad sure hates black people! I'm kidding, but it would be funny.

Anyways, people starving blah blah blah and someone actually paid almost $200 for one large fry. Literally, ONE large fry. In an auction for Christ's sake. So people fought over this one piece of fried potato. How does a life lead up to a point where you're actually trying to outbid other people for a fucking french fry? Are people really that bored? That rich? Robin Williams said that a coke addiction is God's way of telling you that you have too much money, but I think cocaine is a better long term investment than an eight inch fry. What do you do with it once you get it? Put it on a mantel? Masturbate to it? Pray to it? Talk to it? All of that is a better answer than "Eat it." Bleh.

Ok, that's it for now.