Cleftomaniac.

   I like people.
   Pretty people, ugly people, optimists, pessimists, dog fanatics, cat fanatics, just plain fanatic fanatics, stupid, smart, Mensa material, or even straight out retarded. People are just interesting. I enjoy their presence and influence on my life. People… I just like them.
   Due to this feeling of gusto towards my fellow man, I tend to deal with people well. I look them in the eye when I speak to them, I listen to them, and try to make myself interesting to listen to for them. All that aside, I hit a curb with my polite approach of conversing a few days ago. I met a very nice German girl who’s very cute and very red-headed and in general just very charming. She also has a slightly cleft lip. Anyone who’s seen the third installment of the Austin Powers franchise knows where I’m going with this. I couldn’t stop looking at it. I’d stare at it, catch myself staring at it, and then forcefully look away from it. Then I’d get the feeling I was being overly obvious in my attempt to not look at it. I felt like such a helpless asshole. I started wondering if all assholes feel like this, being aware they’re huge assholes but not being able to help it. Finally, I did what anyone would have done. I started staring at her tits instead of her face. It worked out really well. She had nice ones.
   I’m kidding, but what’s the best way to deal with that situation?



(She did have nice ones though) :-)