My thoughts on God...

To start, I can't logically agree with the concept of Atheism. This should be a hard sale coming from someone who's performed not one, but two Atheistic weddings in the past year. That aside, I just fail to see how many intelligent people can get behind a theory (or lack thereof as the case may be) that carries no logical weight whatsoever. To explain where I'm coming from, I use the example of the delicious lemon cake:

If I walk into a vacant room and there's nothing in the room aside from a table with a delicious lemon cake on it, logic would dictate that someone made the delicious lemon cake. Someone also probably built the table. I think about this when I see an ocean or the sky.

See what I mean? I think religious groups are foolish, but I think Atheistic groups are just pandering to being undecided. That and the term "atheist" should be changed from "someone who's not inclined toward any particular religious belief" to "someone who hates people that are inclined towards any particular religious belief." Why? Because the religious people ask for it through action. Examples? Sure:

When people of the religious faction do something that is construed as being a sin, instead of taking blame for the action themselves, they tend to leans towards the approach of, "Satan made me do it," or some other nonsensical slight of responsibility. This is certainly a common underlying theme in supplying blame to achieved sin amongst the faltering righteous. What I believe is overlooked is when these people do something correct and culturally nourishing to those around them. They seldom accredit God for these actions, they may thank Him, but they don't step aside from the glory of the accomplishment and say, "Don't say I did it, it was all the Man Upstairs." In other words, if Ralphie plants a tomato plant and it supplies food for a hungry family, it was all Ralphie's idea. But if Ralphie gets blown by the cleft-lipped babysitter, Sir Satan Supreme was the obvious cause. It's logic like this that causes a lot of decent people to form a gorgeous policy of "Hey, you know what? Fuck Ralphie." Ralphie of course being the ever-blameless religion in this context. Oh Ralphie, fuck you indeed.

As another example, I'll go to sports. In particular, football games. Even more particularly, football games that feature touchdowns where the player slams the ball onto the painted grass and throws a pointed finger into the heavens, thanking God for his assistance in the scoring play. On surface, I see no problems with this, but digging deeper I think it's just as fair to flare a stiff middle finger into the air after a play goes awry. God gave you that touchdown? Awesome. He also caused your left leg to get too close to your right when you fell over and missed that pass, so you should scold him. Blame and thanks are equal opportunity employers, Dickweed. Think about it.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that people have a problem with taking responsibility for their own actions. Unless the action merits a reward, then they have a notarized account and photos of themselves doing it. On the opposite side, they constantly ask God for assistance and then sit around and wait for the Almighty to get of his ass and solve their quandaries when, really, if they weren't so tactless and lazy they might not be in their position to begin with. God's loyal fan base is a classy bunch.
Also, I think the list of broken promises to God would make a wonderful coffee table book.

Also again, I sincerely doubt God's master plan is to have his message brought to the populace by way of bumper stickers. I refuse to believe that his follow up plan to sending his only born son to Earth was to have soccer moms and pretentious holier-than-thou douchebags endorse him with glued pieces of plastic on the back of their dusty minivans. What are they thinking with that stupid fish anyways? If I'm behind them and we both get into a car wreck, that they get a better parking space at God's house? I really hope not. Yikes.

In closing, I can best state my belief in God as this: I feel about God the same way I feel about Dave Matthews. I mean, I like the guy, I just hate all the people that tell me how he's the best thing ever and if I don't love him more than life itself, I'm just not listening hard enough. That, to me, is incredibly fucking weak. I listen to Dave and talk to God on my own terms, not anyone else's. That's all I'm saying.